To Have Hope
by Marie Nomad
Summary: Takes place the night before the beginning of 'To Be Free', Kenshin was contemplating his bloodstained past, painful present and uncertain future. Warning implied sexual content.


This was set just before 'To Be Free'.  This just kinda popped out of my head. 

To Have Hope

By Maria Cline

It was one of the best nights any slave can have.  It was the closest thing to freedom any slave can enjoy. 

It was the night before the auctions.  The slavers were the kindest then; at least, they can't beat up the slaves because they will just be 'damaging their goods'.  A beaten up slave brings in less than a relatively healthy slave.  It was the hardest night because the next day, the slaves will be bought by strangers.  Their lives will be placed in hands they had never met before. 

Kenshin sighed as he leaned against a tree.  His chains rattled as he picked up a small cherry blossom and flicked it away.  The wind blew the blossom up into the air and it vanished into the sky.  Tomorrow, they will be in Edo, no Tokyo, for the next auction.

Japan changed so much in just ten years.  The capital changed, the very structure of social status changed, and even the name of 'Edo' changed to 'Tokyo'.  The one thing did not change was slavery.  While the idea of slavery should have been abolished, there were still slave traders and slaves running around.  Kenshin wasn't surprised the government had not been able to do anything, so much has been happening with the rebels, disgruntled samurais, and the stress of rebuilding the government that a little thing like slavery doesn't matter.

"Any idea what he is?" A young female slave whispered to one of the other slaves.

"No.  He never really talks to anyone.  The only time when he says anything was when he has those nightmares."

"About what?"

"No one knows."

Kenshin glanced up to see a group of other slaves whispering about him.  He wasn't surprised.  His small stature, his long red hair, and especially his scar, made him exotic, one of a kind especially among slaves.  Every time he meets someone, they stare at him and wonder what his past was.  A few even dared to ask him about it but he always just shook his head.  If they know the truth, the slavers, the slaves, and even his owners would fear him and then take advantage of him and his power.  He'd rather die than kill another innocent person.  Every time he entered another auction, he prayed that no one would recognize him.  Not that anyone would even think about looking for the Hitokiri Battousai in a slave auction, he just couldn't take that chance.  People stared at him but that was because he was pretty and exotic looking to them.   

"Hey, Shin." The main slave trader said as he came up and ran his red hair through his rough smelly hands.  "This is our last night together and I'm not sleepy.  Ya know what that means."

Kenshin nodded as he followed the slave trader into one of the tents and knelt down.  He wasn't used in the fields like most male slaves but in the house and bedrooms.  They bought him for household work and other things.  He shivered as he thought about all the times he had to perform for his masters.  They were women and men.  Men favored him more since he looked so pretty and feminine and he couldn't get pregnant.  Women loved to boss around this 'frail' man and treat him any way they wish.  Kenshin closed his eyes as he did what was next.  He couldn't see what was going on, he didn't want to.  Numbness encircled his mind and body as he performed for his master.  His body tensed as his master held him close to his body.  Finally, the man stopped and pulled up his pants.  Kenshin weakly got up and his master patted him on the head. 

"You're good, too bad I have ta sell ya, tomorrow." The trader said as he pushed him back to the tree.  Kenshin sensed the trader left and he crawled to the creek and opened his eyes.  Staring back at him was his reflection with amber eyes that lit up the darkness.  Quickly, he punched his head and forced the numbness away.  Deep within his mind, he knew he could escape.  Even without a sword, he can just slaughter everyone and run off for freedom.  Still, he couldn't kill anyone.  Kenshin gazed up with now violet eyes to see Tomoe and Akira standing before him.  He had to keep his vow for them.  He only lost his freedom, they lost their lives.

Tears threatened to overwhelm him as he leaned against the tree.  The manslayer within him had been getting stronger with every new master.  The urge to kill grows stronger as well as the urge to fight for his freedom.  He couldn't do that.  As long as he was chained in body, he was chained in mind and soul.  So, as long as he was a slave, people are safe from him. 

_/Maybe if I'm lucky, my next master would be so mean, he would kill me before I could kill him./_ Kenshin thought as he stared up into the starry sky.  Does he really want a master who was so cold and heartless that he will kill him?  Every master he had been owned by was kind at first but they were acting.  He knew every time that they were just softening him up so they can really do what they want with him.  He could sense it and yet it didn't make accepting the cold truth easier.  A small part of him whispered, _/What kind of master do you want?/_

The slave stared at the sky.  His shishou told him that no Hiten Mitsurigi Style Master should have no master (other than himself).  He stopped his training to fight in the war.  He should have tried to gone back but he couldn't.  Shishou told him that if he leaves, he can never come back.  Not that matters to him now, he cannot hold a sword again. 

_/What kind of master do you want?/_ The voice whispered again.

Kenshin watched the stars come out.  He was a slave who has no right to control his own life.  Still, he closed his eyes and thought about his past masters.  The only one who had treated him with kindness at the end was Enishi, his first master.  He never touched him sexually, only attacked him and beat him up.   In his own way, he liked Enishi like that.  Enishi was honest with him about how he feels and what he would be doing to him next.  He missed his first master.

Out of nowhere, a streak of light flew across the dark sky.  Kenshin's eyes widened.  Was it a sign?  He heard that a shooting star grants wishes to anyone who sees them.  _/Do I even deserve my own wish?/_ Kenshin thought mournfully as he stared at the sky.  He never made a wish before.  He never wanted one.  Tears filled his eyes as he clutched his hands.  Desperation filled his heart.  A deep yearning cried out from deep within his soul.  "Sessha… sessha wishes to be bought by a kind and sincere person." He whispered softly mostly to himself.

The man bowed his head as the wind blew his hair.  It was such a greedy wish.  He should have wished for those he killed to come back to life or for someone else to be happy.   Besides, there were no more kind and sincere people in the world any more.  Even if there were, if they know the truth about his blood stained past, they wouldn't be so kind any more.  _/It was a silly wish.  I will never meet a kind and sincere person who doesn't care about my past.  It might be nice if I do./_ He thought as he sat down and closed his eyes.

Miles away, a young woman stood out in her yard at her dojo as she watched the shooting star fly by.  She rose her hand and caught a small cherry blossom. 

To Be Continued in 'To Be Free'


End file.
